The Law of Eristic Escalation – “You Can’t Escape What You Fear”

2-Min Mind Upgrade #18

Today we explore the fifth universal law. A challenging law that invites you to stop forcing — and start seeing beyond the surface:

The Law of Eristic Escalation

Imposition of order equals escalation of chaos.

This law says that the harder you try to control a situation, the more chaos you create. At its core, it is an invitation to balance. To centeredness.

The name comes from the goddess Eris — the personification of discord in Greek mythology. But her energy is not only destruction. It is the tension necessary for evolution.

Where this law appears throughout universal culture

In Newton’s Third Law — “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.”

In proverbs and sayings — “You Can’t Escape What You Fear.”

In parenting — it is well known that parents who impose excessive rules on rebellious teenagers often, without realizing it, encourage even more rebellious behavior.

A true story from Monica’s experience

Seven years ago, I worked with an entrepreneur named Nick, a driven and focused individual with a sharp mind for business. He was determined to grow his IT company’s revenue from $2.5 million to $6 million that year.

Nick had tried to grow his company the previous year and the year before that, but hadn’t succeeded. The market was booming, clients were everywhere, and other IT companies were visibly expanding. His company, however, had remained nearly stagnant for 2 years. He began to doubt his entrepreneurial abilities and believed something was wrong with him. He reached out to me, suspecting that his mind held hidden reasons for not achieving his goal.

When someone desires something intensely, the most effective approach is to “balance” the goal. We do this to avoid falling under the law of eristic escalation and creating the opposite. On a practical level, it means balancing the individual’s perception of the goal and supporting them in seeing both the benefits and drawbacks in equal measure, both quantitatively and qualitatively.

So I asked Nick, “What are the downsides of achieving your goal?” and “What are the benefits of staying at $2.5 million in revenue?” I kept alternating between these 2 questions.

There are 2 reasons why I ask these questions in such situations. First, to balance the goal. If it’s not truly a goal for them, then the client will be able to let go of it mentally. If someone balances a goal and no longer desires it, it means it wasn’t truly theirs. It was something borrowed from others and not genuinely aligned with their life.

Often, we see something appealing in friends’ lives and want it for ourselves, but it’s not truly aligned with us. For example, you see a friend with 6-pack abs and decide to set the same goal. But you’re not willing to spend time every day working out or follow their strict diet. In such cases, I use the expression “injecting” others’ priorities into our lives, which isn’t sustainable and leads to frustration.

The second reason for these questions is that the balancing process helps uncover hidden reasons why someone isn’t achieving their goal—whether there are beliefs or other factors preventing them from reaching it.

When I did this exercise with Nick, he admitted that he wanted to maintain a family-like atmosphere in his company. At one point, he said, “Rather than risk losing this close-knit environment, I’d prefer to stay where I am.” I asked, “Nick, did you hear what you just said?” And he replied, “Yes, that’s true.”

During our sessions Nick discovered that growing the company in the past had been very painful for him. He faced 2 paradoxical and equally painful situations. Either he had employees without enough work between projects, or he had projects but not enough employees to deliver them.

These 2 scenarios are paradoxical. However, in his mind, he had registered pain when he had employees without work because he still had to pay them. On the other hand, when he had projects but not enough staff to deliver them, he and his team faced burnout. We balanced these 2 painful situations with 2 other laws: the law of duality and the law of synchronicity.

In the end, Nick achieved his goal by the year’s end. He reached $6 million in revenue while maintaining the family culture within his company. This achievement was not only a financial milestone but also a great personal example for him about aligning his mind with his goals.

There are no mistakes in the universe,

Monica and Stefan

P.S. The story above is taken from the book “The 7 Universal Laws.” If you’d like to discover more stories and learn how to apply the universal laws to solve difficult problems, read or listen to the book.

More from Monica, Stefan and the Inspired Life Circle team.

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